Kind of Like A Superhero
by Stoic Harlequin
Summary: With the wit of two evil minds, one should fear their collaboration. It'll take man and turtle power to thwart them. NYC can sleep knowing the Justice League of America and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are on it…after all, they're kind of superheroes.
1. Chapter 1

**Kind of Like A Superhero**  
><span>Chapter One<span>  
><em>TMNT (2k3) and JLA (The Animated Series) Crossover<em>

Lex Luthor was poised in his seat; not because he needed to be in order to maintain some level of control, but instead because his arrogant streak was corroborated by clout to circumvent him from being humble and therefore incapable of slouching. LuthorCorp's largest share holder sat across from him. He'd never actually lain eyes on the man, but Lex was aware of who he was - he'd heard that Oroku Saki was a dominating presence. He could now contend that those who spoke of Saki like a Japanese God of stern, rigid propriety were wrong. Lex figured he was capable of breaking this man should that be his end goal. Naturally, Saki shared the same opinion on the converse. Therefore the two men were left doing a non-verbal and motionless dance, waiting for the other to strike first. Whoever managed to sink their teeth into the flesh of the other would be the victor for this match, but certainly not the war.

"I have the facilities you seek." Lex finally spoke, his splayed fingers were pressed together at the tips. He rocked them loosely on his wrists in a bored gesture; or one of power, it was often hard to tell with the bald man. In fact, it wouldn't matter much as the way Saki sat - feet firmly on the ground with hands flat on his knees - was his own display of authority. "I also have the man power to properly obtain and detain the individuals you speak of, but it all comes at a price Saki. Domination, I'm afraid, is never free."

"Do you always see the mere bottom line, Luthor?" The smirk on Oroku's face harbored on a snarl, as if disgusted by the other man's tactic.

Lex's chin tipped up and his eyes narrowed, shining like his baby smooth bald head. "Yes." He said in a lazy, but amused drawl. "Or I suppose in your language I mean to say 'Hai'. I understand your personal narrative, at least in some circles, would indicate to your ahhh - how shall we say...expertise," Lex brightened a little at the disguised meaning in his words as he was sure Saki understood, "in things, say, exotic?" Lex's face cocked off in an odd smile. "I want kryptonite. When we speak in green, I don't mean the sort of paper printed bills. I demand payment in green that can be useful. Perhaps you too demand a payment of a similar color, but far from monetary value. You're familiar with this element, krypotonite, yes?"

Saki's nostrils flared at so openly being called an alien, for his nature and Lex's clear meaning when he spoke of Saki's 'exotic' experience and history. He had a mind to launch over the table and pierce Lex's soft, fleshy, human throat. Those bodies were so delicate, he could have the power-hungry man dead before he knew what had hit him. Even still, Saki figured that part of Lex's promises were true and he was willing to take any avenue necessary to capture and destroy his most hated enemies. If he could eliminate them, it would be worth working with this insolent man. "It seems like we're in agreement. I will help you handle your problem. And you, mine."

* * *

><p>"What's going on in there?" A red blur darted around the massive, green alien who was focused on the door - his yellow eyes aglow in his concentration. "Huh? What are they saying? What are they <em>thinking<em>?" The blur moved again in the other direction, but ended up in the same exact spot less than a nanosecond later. Clearly being still was not an option and the energy had to be burned off somehow, even if it meant running little laps around the massive Martian. "J'onn..." the man moaned as he came to a skidding halt again. It was as if a child whining for attention.

"Flash." The Martian's deep voice warned in that stoic bass, as if he were scolding that same child very delicately - not with the intention to punish, but to give a chance to stop his behavior. It was, after all, the only real way to deal with him.

The lean, red jumpsuit wearing man perked. He automatically smiled, a charming grin, at the sound of his name. Rather, J'onn's name for him as the Martian never referred to any of them by their given names. Flash was pretty sure if he, Flash himself, tried to call Batman 'Bruce' he'd have to be the fastest he'd ever been, not just the 'fastest man alive' but the 'fastest man _ever_alive', as Bats was likely to demolish him. But he mulled over the idea of J'onn and Batman in a fight thoughtfully, as that was more entertaining, his index finger tapping his chin.

"There would be no winner as Batman and I will never battle." J'onn spoke patiently and Flash's head drew back on his neck.

"HEY!" He moaned. He would never get use to J'onn so easily hearing their top most thoughts without even meaning to. "It'd be a good fight though." Flash brightened and nodded eagerly at the huge man whom was still standing firmly in his spot - like a wall of cool and sober, pragmatic flesh. "I couldn't hurt to smile every now and then, J'onn. It's easy, see - just turn the corners of your mouth up...like so. Allow me to demonstrate." Flash allowed a huge grin to flick across his face.

The Martian watched, patiently, but merely blinked his pupil-less yellow eyes in contemplation and Flash's shoulders sank in disappointment as he huffed out. "I've seen you do it. I could start telling jokes." He added hopefully.

"No." J'onn answered plainly. "They're coming."

"WHAT? NOW?" Before J'onn could answer, Flash was gone, having sprinted - at his fastest - down the hall and around the corner just as the doorknob on Luthor's office door clicked open. J'onn's body dematerialized, sinking through the floor into the room below, where Flash was already waiting for him. There was a light scowl on the man's face, obvious even if obscured by the mask he wore. "Geez, warn a guy next time. Ya know - before they're at the door. I can't read minds...remember? Though it'd be pretty cool too, huh?" He shook his head. "What the heck were they talking about in there?"

"I'm not sure." J'onn admitted pensively. "I could not read Saki as I could Lex. He's not human."

"You don't say?" Flash smirked, amused. "Some Japanese playboy he is...like an Asian Bats - all that money and mystery breeds for weirdos. It figures someone like Bruce Wayne would be dysfunctional enough to dress up in a costume and punch people in the face for fun. I guess Oroku Saki in that big ominous building would be a freak too. I wonder if he dresses up at night and punches people in the face too?" Flash considered. "Do you think that Saki guy pays a lot of money to have that big black cloud hang over his building all the time? It's like he rented a little square of Gotham and relocated it to NYC. 'Course, he was communing with the devil. Devil equals Luthor if you didn't get the connection there J'onn. Maybe he's like evil Bats." He seemed to barely have the chance to catch his breath as he trailed off in his words.

"You dress up and have an alias too." J'onn pointed out calmly, almost amused by Flash - _almost_.

The red clad man scowled again. "I'm not weird. I know that's what you're implying. _Sometimes _I **am **quick on the uptake."

"Now if it could just be as quick as your feet every time we need you on the uptake."

"Hey." Flash frowned, jerking around in the direction of the new voice; there was contempt in his moan but no malice as Flash whined about being verbally abused. "The other John! I was beginning to wonder if you got the memo to meet here; and of course, you'd have to come in with a one liner like that. It reminds me of that time on that one planet where those people were imprisoning the tree of power and you said something about missing me like a toothache. I let Kilowog eat all your ice cream and your copy of Old Yeller on VHS, sorry about that by the way. What? I didn't know he was going to eat it!" Flash hadn't stopped yapping, one sentence running into the next like they were all smashed together. "I promise to upgrade for you this year come Saint Nick time, yeah? Like we'll move into the 2000s and score you a DVD player instead." He had moved over to the man who'd come in through another entrance, dressed in a black and green getup over his dark, brown skin.

"You let him eat before coming in here?" The new arrival looked to the alien man, who merely shook his head lightly. "Lay of the sweets Flash, like your momma told you when you were a little thing."

"HEY! You said it was a good size."

John Stewart, the Green Lantern, stared at the other man with the most vacant expression he could apply. Stunned. "I don't even know what to say right now." He stated.

"That I'm your best friend and you adore every moment we spend together. Even when we're getting pummeled by bad guys. Well when you get pummeled by bad guys and I watch. I never told you, I snicker sometimes 'cuz they're too fast to hit me. Hang on scratch that, I'm too fast for them." _'Yeah like your mouth being too fast for your brain'_, John mumbled as Flash continued onward completely ignoring him. "They're the best times of your life. Hell they even have a song about it that matches us. _Keep smiling...keep shining...knowing you can always count on me..._"

A green, translucent plate clapped over Flash's mouth, which - by an equally translucent green string - was tethered to a ring on John's finger. The energetic Flash was still mumbling under the energy of John's ring stifling him.

"What did you find?" John asked J'onn, both names pronounced the same. "Answer quick like so I can keep him quiet long enough to get the answer."

"Luthor and Saki have an arrangement. Part of the payment is kryptonite, but the bounty I'm not sure. People, that much was clear. I couldn't hear Saki's thoughts - only his words. Lex's mind seemed to indicate that there were four; maybe five. That part was vague. It would be in our best interest to discover who's an enemy of Saki and begin there." J'onn's cape danced around him as he remained positively statue-like. "You may release him now." A small smile tugged at the corners of the Martian's mouth.

"So that's how we get you to smile!" Flash's mouth was already moving the second he was set free to speak again. "Do it again John! Maybe we'll see some teeth if you keep it up."

"I'm just going to do it to get you to shut up." John snorted, his retort quick in response to Flash's.

"There was something, as well, in his mind about Cadmus." Both Flash and John stopped. Even Flash's mouth quit moving for a minute while they both digested the words, in horror.

"Like...the freaky place where Lex does his weird Frankenstein science, complete with cross bred mutant people and stuff, Cadmus?"

"Do you know of _another _Cadmus?" John looked over at him, disbelief in his voice as he cocked his head slightly to the side in question.

"Awww GL, you do love me." Flash leaned over and, if his eyes were visible through his mask would have batted his lashes at the other man playfully. "I know all that macho, you're an idiot innuendo stuff is just a front." The green plate slapped over Flash's mouth again.

"Let the grown ups talk now." John insisted as he turned his green eyed gaze to the large Martian. "You're sure? Strip away all the nonsense this bone head said, and you mean Cadmus labs?"

"Indeed." It was all J'onn needed to say and the other two were aptly aware that whatever Saki and Lex were up to - it was certainly no good.

* * *

><p><strong>::Author's Note::<strong>

All our LJA fans will probably hate us for this - please Anna don't be a disappointed if you stumble on this under our new penname. ^_^ But eh...maybe they'll be amused. And...there was no way we couldn't use the same opener line when addressing Mr. Luthor. It's just...so Lex-perfect. In fact, if we could start every story this way we would. And...'Harley' _**FINALLY**_ gets to write Flash (I have been salivating for this moment). WOOT! V/R - Harley and Stoic (Fae and Dreamdance)


	2. Chapter 2

**Kind of Like A Superhero  
><strong>_Chapter Two  
><em>TMNT (2k3) and JLA (The Animated Series) Crossover

"So let me get this straight -"

"Evil Bats wants some serious reckoning on his villainous counterparts," Flash darted passed Superman as he was trying to speak, cutting him off for the third time in the last few minutes. He didn't miss a beat as he rambled the words out in one massive run-on sentence.

"Would you stop calling him that? He's not 'Evil Bats'," John, the Green Lantern, chided. Half the time, Flash was his best friend. The other half of the time it was like wrangling an AWOL electron or dog-sitting his neighbor's yappy little mutt. "And, to be clear," John went on, on behalf of Flash, "we don't know if they're villains or former friends or, shoot, strangers who ticked him off on the subway. For all we know, they could be good since Saki is the one in working with Luthor. In fact, we know very little about Oroku Saki; that's about all this has come to."

"I'm telling you, he sits up in that skyscraper mansion and watches news feeds and fights crime - or good guys - in a funky suit late a night. Too much money man, that's what causes this problem. Or mom might not have hugged him enough. Do Japanese people hug?" Derailed, Flash's question came out in the spirit of a child asking 'why', complete with arched brow and bemused smirk.

"Your mom hugged you too much, long enough to cut the air off in the developmental stages." John shot back.

"HEY! Leave a man's mom out of it." Flash shot back jovially, he was in good spirits with his energy as high as a kite. It was rare that he wasn't teasing or playing or shooting off at the mouth in some fashion, but all in good fun.

Superman sighed, only just as J'onn arrived. "Actually, we have learned something of value about Oroku Saki that we didn't know before," the Martian interjected. "There was some suspicion in the conversation which led to this deduction initially. I had spoken of him not being human. Indeed...Saki is an alien, not a man at all."

Flash's white eye covers, in the mask over his face, widened as evidence of his eyebrows shooting up under the fabric. His mouth even fell open a little bit and, for the moment, he was speechless. Truly a feet considering the speed at which his neurons fired and the quickness those words traveled to his lips.

"Martian?" Superman asked immediately. "I thought you were the last."

"I am. He is not Martian. The race, it seems, is called 'Utrom'. I could find little about them or their culture. It will be difficult to know what to expect."

"So wait, you think he wants Luthor going after other aliens and that's why Cadmus is involved?" Flash blurted out before anyone else could speak. "Because, lets face it - it'll be funny to watch Lex try and catch some aliens who have super powers or something. I'll make popcorn, you guys save me seats, okay!"

"Don't underestimate Luthor, Flash," Superman held up a hand briefly before tucking it in the bend of his arm where the other was folded against his massive chest. The unofficial leader of the Justice League was deep in thought as he digested the news presented before him. "If Luthor thought himself strong enough to complete whatever task Saki wanted then, chances are, he can."

Wounded, Flash took a small step back, which couldn't be seen as he'd moved so fast. Instead, it just looked like he was in the center of their circle and then, in a blink, on the rim of the human circle with everyone else.

"Have you been keeping an eye on the lab, J'onn?" Superman questioned further, true to his inquisitive and turning mind.

The tall, green Martian gave a single nod of his head. "Each time we pass for any mission or patrol, though it is arguably quiet on a typical day and even more so when things are going well for the scientists within."

Superman took that too and considered what it might mean. "It'll be difficult to tell what Saki wanted amid whatever other experiments are going on in there."

"Yeah...and rumor has it there's a new head scientist. Luthor bought 'im out from the government. That's scary right? A man, normal guy - bald but normal...sort of, actually not very normal but you get the idea - anyway! - more money than the government! Stockman right? Baxter Stockman?" Flash looked over to the Green Lantern.

There was a moment of hesitation and Flash held up his hands suddenly, panic flooding him. "It wasn't a race thing! I know you're both black and stuff but...you're my best friend and he's like creepy mad scientist central. I wasn't...saying you had anything in common by looking at you."

"Something on your mind, Flash? Like guilt?" John prodded, intentionally in Flash's self induced weak spot, to get a reaction from the crimson speedster.

"It's like saying J'onn has anything in common with Evil Bats! Because they're both aliens. No hard feeling J'onn and I don't actually think you have anything in common with Evil Bats," Flash deflected quickly. The Martian merely peered down at the smaller man. All the other's seemed to be enjoying Flash's discomfort in their own way. "Stockman, he really is a creep. And hey! Saki looks awful human for being an alien."

"Right, well, head scientist or not it's good to know who we'll meet once we go into Cadmus labs." Superman said. "J'onn, find out anything you can about this Stockman character."

"Yeah but," Flash mouthed again, his words running together again, "what _are_ we looking for in there? How will we know Luthor's other weirdo experiments from the ones that Evil Bats wants? I doubt very much that Luthor's going to bag and tag 'em with _'For Oroku Saki AKA Evil Bats - with Love, Lex Luthor.'_" Flash traced the words in the air with his index finger as if he were writing it in cursive on a gift tag.

That was an answer no one seemed to know.

* * *

><p>"What is that you're doing again exactly?" Shade sat with his fingers laced together, elbows propped up on the arms of the cushy chair in the bowels of one of Lex Luthor's many fine office buildings. Some he claimed taxes on, others were off the books, but there was one commonality among them all; they were lavished in the most luxurious good that money could buy. Shade liked that, he liked things that marked the value in purchasable items.<p>

Money always drew Shade's attention. There was a price for everything and his abilities, in a way - manipulating the dark - were for rent as well. Though he'd failed against the Justice League in the past, even under Luthor's command - which, to Shade, actually meant Luthor's dime - he was right back under the master mind's thumb with the promise of gold. And, with the caveat that the Justice League wouldn't be involved in this one. It was a different 'friend' that Luthor was working with. It could have been the Devil himself that Luthor'd made a deal with and Shade wouldn't care, so long as he got paid in the end.

Ultra-Humanite, a massive albino gorilla-like bodied man with a overly pronounced double-lobe on the top of his head, poured over maps spread out on the solid mahogany table. Shade noticed it was mahogany and not pressed wood covered in a thin layer of the real, rich, red wood it was trying to be. He leaned forward and ran a finger along the surface and examined it for any evidence of dust. He was clearly bored by the genius like man who was in the form of a mutated gorilla.

"You bother me." Utlra-Humanite said in his refined and sophisticated dialect that seemed like it should belong to someone with a little more snobbish clothing and lean body, but the man was indeed a genius.

"What's he offering you? Why did you take the job?" One corner of Shade's mouth turned up; he cared little for the other's irritation. His already thin lips turned into a narrow line.

Ultra-Humanite didn't respond to that particular question. Instead he pointed to the map. "It's simple really. When looking for any sort of culturally aware creature, you should first look for modern comforts. Primarily electricity. Though there is no direct source, these...men..." he cringed at the word, as if it left a sour taste in his mouth the very second he uttered it, "are actually using a brilliant set up but not so brilliant as to be entirely over looked. Luthor said to look in the sewers. And I did. Sources of energy are being funneled here, to this area. Whatever it is that Luthor is looking for, it will be found here." The gorilla's meaty finger tapped on the map.

"Only little bits of electric siphoned off and all channeled to one place, but that looks like a pumping station." Shade leaned back in his chair and cringed a little. One hand came up to cover his mouth at the mere thought of diving under the city for whatever bounty Luthor was after. He knew, however, that they would have to. At least with Utlra-Humanite, they could pinpoint the source and find the most likely location with the fastest path.

"Not afraid of the dark, are you Shade?" Luthor had arrived just then, a slightly arrogant remark meant to mock the man who used the power of darkness and shadow to manipulate those he wanted to. The man didn't answer, he merely looked up to Luthor through his spectacles.

"I don't care how many people it takes, get me those turtles and deliver them to Cadmus labs by midnight."

* * *

><p><strong>::Author's Note::<strong>  
>Thank you for ALL that held out to read a little more of this tale. You actually have the AMAZING demonsweat and the INCREDIBLE Loki's Son to thank for this update. We have long since had it in the works but getting it from head to paper (or word document) took a bit of persuasion. And once more...Mandy got to write Flash. *squee* With that said, thank you for stopping by. We'd love to hear what you think!<p> 


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